I know that it has been years since I was a resident. I appreciate the fact that you seem determined to show me how much I matter by paying personal attention to me. However, let me say that I find a great deal of difference between positive attention and negative attention. Positive attention would involve spending time with family and/or friends. Going apple picking. Seeing a movie. Something fun that shows that people actually enjoy my company and want to spend some of their busy schedule with me. Fancy dinners, parties, parades, and various other celebrations are unnecessary.
Negative attention, for the record, is best exemplified by what I saw this morning when I decided to run an errand. Canine fecal matter does not belong on my car, rental or no. It should not be smeared all over my front windshield. It should not hold a variety of leaves and twigs to the glass in a collage of noisome nature. Or to put it another way, my car should not attract flies.
If this were an isolated incident, that would be one thing, but it is just another in a string of events here. My real car still bears the evidence of that; etched indelibly into the paint and my memory are things which should not have been.
I hate you, Ohio. Bear my enmity until the end of time. Or at least until the end of the day. I really do not have the inclination to spend much more time on you.