O’er hill and dale telling their tale …

It’s snowing tonight. I did not know that there would be snow when I woke up to go to work. So I just bopped along, watched LOST on DVD, putzed about in the kitchen and made breakfast. I had hot cereal and an ice cream sandwich made of cranberry waffles and eggnog ice cream.

I was a little bit later than usual leaving the apartment. I had not looked outside all day since I slept through it. I had debated about going out to see a comedian before work, but laziness kept me inside. So it was a complete surprise to me when I stepped out the front door and saw a horde of invading flakes staging an occupation of my car and the surrounding territories for miles around.

I do not remember ordering this.

Don’t get me wrong. I love snow. I just would have left for work earlier if I had known that it was there.

In other news, I am alive. What’s that you say? It’s obvious that I am alive? Well yes, but I was recently informed that this did not have to be the case. In fact, a few days ago my continued status was anything but assured. Apparently, the infection came pretty close to becoming an abscess which then could have worked its way into my brain.

Nobody ever told me that oral hygiene could be a matter of life and death. And worse, this was not even something that I could have prevented. It was caused by the fact that the root canal I had five years ago was incomplete and went bad. There were no warning signs. One day I was be-bopping along and the next … WHAM! I was taken hostage as a tooth that I had heretofore believed to be harmless hijacked my central nervous system.

My brain became like the freeways around Chicago at rush hour. All electrical pathways were jammed. I imagine a telephone operator of the old style, routing calls by means of plugging and unplugging various wires. Suddenly, all the lines were busy and only one message was getting through. PAIN!

Other senses? What other senses? Who needs sight when the pain is coming from inside you? Hearing? No way. Smell/taste? Hahahahaha! No. There was only feeling and to tell the truth, I am pretty sure that someone could have cut off one of my limbs at that point and I would not have noticed.

Hmm, it occurs to me that a truly unscrupulous person could have taken advantage of me in that state. I would have done anything for the promise of ending the pain. “Hey, Owen! We need to take pictures of the Komodo dragons! Now go rub rotting meat all over your body so that we can attract them and then we’ll give you the morphine. What? No, you can’t have the morphine first. Just lie down here and pretend to be dead. Don’t worry about any carrion birds. They will add to the verisimilitude. But maybe you should lie face down so that you can protect your eyes. No, you won’t be able to see the dragons coming, but we’ll call out when we see them and you can run. What? Sure, we’ll pay attention! And if you get bitten, at least the pain will stop, right?”

I wonder if that’s how Marlin Perkins got Jim to do all that crazy stuff on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom?* That would certainly explain a lot about their relationship!


[*] If you have no idea what I am writing about, or if you do and feel nostalgic, you can watch complete episodes on YouTube.

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20 responses to “O’er hill and dale telling their tale …

  1. O.O
    You. Are not allowed to die.

    • I don’t plan on it. After all, if I died, how would I get any more hugs from you? 😉

      • yes. stay intact. that is very important (hugs) …vitally important, really. 🙂 so what ended up happening? did people from work get you a ride to the dr. or…?
        btw, i was telling the mime and the felicia day stories, and my friends here have decided you are a most awesome person, and, presumably, you must visit 🙂

      • Nope. No ride. That awful pain was on the first day. I took some 500mg ibuprofen to dampen the pain and waited to see if it would go away. I knew that it was centered on the root canaled tooth, but could not believe that it was truly the source, so I wanted to see if the pain was really related to that tooth. When after 24 hours the pain not only did not diminish but instead increased, I found a dentist and got an appointment for the first thing in the morning. I drove myself there and she prescribed penicillin and vicodin for me to take until the root canal. The vicodin was not really enough for me. I still had to take the huge ibuprofen in order to function.
        The root canal itself was only supposed to take about an hour and a half or so. I had it Wednesday morning after my first all nighter this week. So when I went in to the specialist, I was a bit loopy. Hence the fact that my procedure wound up taking three hours did not really bother me as much as it might have. I remember that the doctor was a little concerned a few times during the whole thing, but not much else.
        I did not find out about the extent of my infection until after the root canal. The dentist called me on a follow up a day later, just to make sure that I was OK. I asked if it was standard procedure to call back since I was positive that no other dentist I had ever had did that. That’s when she told me just how close things had come.
        I am OK though. And that’s what matters.

    • Yes, I agree. Dying is not on the menu.
      I’m not happy about this snow, either. Know why? Because I am driving to Chicago today.

      • oh right. I was trying to figure out how you were on owen’s lj, when I didn’t have you on mine.
        good luck with the drive to chicago… at least it doesn’t seem to be sticking on the roads.

      • The drive was fine! We’re at my sister’s place, having a cookie-baking party with The Yule Log HD on TV.
        FRIENDED.

      • I hope that you had no trouble with the drive. If I had known you were coming … well, actually nothing would have changed, but if you ever come up at a time when I am not working, I’ll happily meet you for lunch or something. 🙂

      • No trouble on the drive! Sorry about the short notice. It would be delightful to see you on the next trip. (I think I’ll be back in February for some kind of choir performance, but I don’t know any of the details yet.)

      • ooh, choir performance in chicago? this sounds neat. keep us informed!

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