Brain: Psst! Owen. Do you know what the date is?
Me: Um, the second?
Brain: Yes! And do you know why that is important?
Me: Because Mom and Dad’s anniversary is only a few days away?
Brain: No …
Me: Because Christmas is almost over?
Brain: No. Christmas was over a week ago.
Me: You know better than that! There are twelve days of Christmas! The fifth of January is the last day of Christmas. Remember that play, Twelfth Night?
Brain: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, no. Nor was I referring to your cousin’s birthday coming soon, although you are on the right track with that.
Me: She was my first birthday present, you know!
Brain: Yes, I know. And that is what I’m referring to. Your birthday is coming! And what did you plan for that day?
Me: I’m having LASIK done.
Brain: That’s right! You always want to spend time with people and/or cook for them. And yet you scheduled an activity which will ensure that you are must spend your birthday recuperating. Alone. In the dark. With your eyes closed.
Me: I could still cook …
Brain: You’re going to cook. With your eyes closed? What could possibly go wrong?!
Brain: And that is what I wanted to talk to you about. We need to make plans. Like whether to celebrate early (like this weekend or possibly next Wednesday) or late (next weekend.) We need to figure out not just when, but what! Are we going to cook something? Are we going to take people somewhere? Are we hosting a party? What’s going on?
Me: Is it too late to steal a TARDIS and give ourselves more time to think?
Brain: Technically, it is never too late to do that. But you are constrained by the fact that you have no idea where to get one.
Me: Party pooper.